My Story

Maybe it is easiest to begin with today and work back with my story.  I am an ordained deacon in the ACNA in the diocese of the Upper Midwest.  I was ordained in 2013 after attending and ministering in a local Anglican church since 2006.  I have a master’s degree in Theology with a concentration in Spiritual Formation from Bethel Seminary.  My undergrad degree is in Nursing. I worked in coronary care for 7 years.  I have always loved caring for the hearts of others.

I serve at Church of the Cross as Pastor of Formation.  My roles and responsibilities are varied.  Because I believe God is the one who changes lives, the intention of what I do is “creating the space where people may encounter the His presence.”  That may be through the sanctuary arts, through prayer ministry, both individually and equipping ministers within our community. Each year we have services specifically set a part as times to listen to the prompting of the Spirit.  Those services are a source of encouragement, teaching and healing for those who attend. His presence  may be experienced through the Narrative of Scripture offered in small groups. It may come in the invitation of Immanuel Prayer.  It is my delight through conversations and questions to remind others of what they have experienced of God as a source of joy and strength. It is an invitation to remember, to re-mind ourselves of the goodness of our God; to listen for His word to us today.  Certainly He is present as we gather to hear the Word spoken and come to His Table as the people of God.  In these and other places I am privileged to join others on their journey of growth and maturity in Christ.

I have been married to Gerard Pierre for seven years.  He is my second husband.  My first husband, John died of the complication of CLL at the age of 58.  A while after Gerard’s wife Pamela died, Gerard and I began to walk together.  It was a time of healing for both of us.  As we processed our loss and grief together.  I found my voice and clarified the call of God on my life.  Gerard’s invitation to me sounded right from the heart of God, “I will love you, if you will let me.”  How could a girl turn that down?  Gerard’s presence in my life has been a space of growth and encouragement.  He has brought new people, perspectives and places into this season.  I am so grateful for God’s “second chances”.  

I am mother to 4 children; Andrea married to Matt has 3 children,  Matthew married to Anna has 3 children, Rachel married to Andrew has 4 children, and Tim, single with Koda “our” Australian sheep dog.  I did not know how God would honor the vow I made when I married their dad, but He has been faithful to bring it to pass.  We promised to build a home and raise a family that would honor and glorify Christ Jesus until He returns.  “I have no greater joy than to know that my children are walking in the truth.”  Gerard has 8 children and 11 grandchildren.  Lots of birthdays to keep track of!

I have lived a real life, filled with adventures and trials.  I have lived in Minnesota, Maryland and Bath England.  During the years my children were in school I was fortunate to be a stay-at-home mom.  Beginning in Maryland, then in England and finally in Minnesota I taught Precepts Inductive Bible Studies. I served with high school ministry and went with a team on mission to Guatemala and El Salvador as the nurse on a medical team. That was a dream come true.

  After taking 3 kids to college over a period of seven years, the passion to learn caught up with me.  I was at a point of crisis in my faith.  My hunger to see lives changed, marriages restored and families strengthened was my motivation for leaving the teaching position I had in our large, non-denominational church.  At the age of 48, I entered Seminary as a student on probation.  After the first semester the probation was lifted and I received an academic scholarship!

Entering seminary my heart’s cry was to be part of what changes people’s lives.  I had participated in communicating good information, truth, scripture for many years, but did not know the transformation I hoped for in my life or in the lives of others.  I had come to the conclusion that, “knowing right did not always mean doing, living or loving rightly.”  I pleaded with God for the answer to what changes people’s lives; what would change my life.  I could almost audibly hear his voice as he answered, “I do.  I am the One who saves, heals, and transforms lives.”  These words informed and still inform the call of God on my life.  “If you will create the space where people can encounter me, I will change their lives.”
At this point I best go back and explain some of what prompted my longing for change.

No one makes it through life without being influenced by the choices of others.  Those choices are often the structures that support our image of ourselves, God and others.  Like most children I interpreted my life through a lens that was not necessarily accurate, but still had power to inform my way of being in relationship.  Without the experience of reframing or reinterpreting my perspective I entered adult life and marriage with disordered ways of meeting my needs and patterns of reaction.  I had a heart for God.  I knew the scripture and the expectations for a life of obedience and faith.  God had been faithful as I sought to work out my salvation.  I knew his voice.  I had experienced his leading and provision.  We had lived and traveled half-way around the world.  I had seen two children graduate college.  Andrea was married and moved to Arizona.  Matt was in grad school and preparing to be married. Rachel was in college and Tim was in high school.  We had buried both of our fathers and cared for our mothers in their loss.  

Now, John was experiencing the life crises of his health, loss of employment, identity and confidence.  His fear, anxiety and bitterness were impacting our marriage.  With all I knew, I was at a loss as to how to respond.  We had been to counseling without any change.  I had gone myself to a therapist and things only seemed to get worse.  Spiritual directors listened and validated the pain I was experiencing, but still I had no direction.  I found myself moving further away to protect my heart and mind.  The abandonment John felt, only made matters worse.  

Earlier that fall, I had participated in a seminar called Prayer Resolution.  The core teaching was about forgiveness.  It offered a vision of forgiveness that I had never considered.  With the anxiety and tension almost unbearable in my home I asked a friend who had been in the seminar, if I could spend time with her.  The invitation was clear, “Yes, and we will pray through your life using the principles of forgiveness.”  So began the most transformational, healing, holy time of my life.  I began exploring the significant relationships of my life from the perspective of God’s standard of love and honor.  As I offered forgiveness to parents, friends, leaders, authorities and finally my husband, I began to experience freedom and insight into my own reactions and relationship patterns.  I identified lies I was believing particularly about my gifting and my identity.  I asked different questions.  I owned the things I was responsible for while releasing responsibility to others and trusting God to lead and judge.  I got out of the middle and began to watch God’s work of transformation in the life of the one I most loved, my husband John.

I am still today so grateful for the reordered time we enjoyed before John died.  God provided wise counsel that brought healing to his soul.  He became a part of a community of men who supported each other as they negotiated the challenges of their lives.  John grew in his responsibility for his own relationship with God as well as our children and grandchildren.  Our greatest regret was we never got to see the fullness of what God might have accomplished had he lived longer.

I have written Freedom? Forgiveness? How? in order to more clearly define the provision that Christ made available to us through his shed blood.  My experience has been that we misunderstand what forgiveness is.  We are left confused by the instruction to forgive.  It is not that we refuse or are unwilling to forgive as much as we just really don’t know what to do.

As I meet with people for prayer counseling and healing I have becoming increasingly aware that as the church we have not accessed the most powerful provision God in Christ has given us.  It is the blood of Christ for the satisfaction of the debt of sin against those who have been victims of wounding and abuse as well as those who have been controlled by systems of power and diminishment.  In the last 15 years I have met with many hurt and hurting people, I literally have had only one person who after hearing the invitation has not been willing to risk engaging in this process.  She left explaining that she “wasn’t ready, that she felt the need to process more slowly, unsure if she could really believe what was being offered”.

For those who have accepted the invitation of “The Debt is Paid” I have had the privilege of leading them out of the bondage of their past.  I have seen their vision of their own sin clarified and confessed, leading to their own forgiveness and cleansing.  I have seen debts paid in ways that have been nothing short of miraculous.  As the weight of debt is removed and Selves find their voice, persons emerge with new energy, dreams and joy.  Physical appearance changes, at times weight literally has fallen away.  Hope is restored.  Repeatedly I hear of more rightly ordered responsibilities and greater self-differentiation.  The perpetrators lose their power to define and control.  Through the process they experience being heard, held, healed.  They are seen, soothed, safe and secure.  Previous behaviors that sought to meet those needs are no longer necessary.  The chains are broken, strongholds demolished!

Those who have journeyed with me have expressed a sense of urgency in the establishment of an army of those trained to be witnesses.  The need to have the next generation trained to offer this Good News to those whose first orientation in life is that of a victim of another’s sin, seems to grow greater and greater as the moral standard of our world is diminishing.